Thursday, July 5, 2012

I'm A Boat




I'm a boat,
You are the water,
My life is the wind that keeps me afloat
And sail cross the border.
.
You allow me to keep going
to erase life’s pain,
Although knowing
that we may lose each other again.
.
The future is unknown,
Yet you refuse to frown,
You sing me the most beautiful song
while I’m stuck and alone.
.
Like daughter,
Like father,
You are the water
that supports me to go further.

*****
 Short Story Slam Week 22
 

33 comments:

Fiducia said...

What a bond felt in each word...
Lovely, simply well written with loads of emotions spilled in form..
Has a haunting feel too at some places, and yet makes one glee of the verse..Nice!

Linda Jacobs said...

Love all the metaphors in the first stanza!

ds said...

Beautiful. The image of the boat on the water is so strong, such power in the nature of the relationship. Thank you for sharing this, Jingle.

Judie said...

This is a beautiful piece. It almost made me cry.I know I've said this before, but you are a gift.

Joanne said...

I read this and I thought of my Dad...this was beautiful! Thank You! Blessings, Joanne

mindlovemisery said...

Awww this is so sweet Jingle and I agree wonderful use of metaphors

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I enjoyed your poem , I have been on vacation to Canada and the US and have just got back into the Bitish way of life.

Have a peaceful Sunday.

Yvonne.

Rajlakshmi said...

beautifully conveyed :)
lovely write Jingle

☆☆Mumsy said...

Beautiful poem, and I get a sense of the father who is quietly supporting the flow.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Hi I know you are involved in other aspects of poetry writing such as poetry of the day etc but I can never get through to the events that are going on.Could you enlighten me how to do so?
Thank you.
Yvonne.

abthomas said...

Loved the flow and the sentiments expressed, a certainly cool perspective!

sarah said...

this is so beautifully written

Lyn said...

This perfectly describes what it is to feel safe..just lovely!

Dasuntoucha said...

Touching write.

Andy said...

Beautiful sentiments. Brought a lump to my throat.

Glad I stopped on this one.

Thanks for sharing, Ji.

thingy said...

Terrificly positive, as always. : )

daydreamertoo.com said...

Lovely. Your poetry is always so uplifting.

sm said...

beautiful poem

Ina said...

This is a wonderful poem. One needs the other... Terrific! :)

booguloo said...

Nice sentiments.

Randy Behavior said...

I love the idea of water as supporter.

Fred said...

Really nice poem. nice imagery, thanks:)

Dunstan said...

Nicely put - a really warm and lovely poem

Pranavam Ravikumar a.k.a. Kochuravi said...

Nice..! I loved it.

Chim's World of Literature said...

i like the metaphors and the flow of the words....the emotions spilled well out.

viddhi said...

meaningful and beautiful! :-)

Dhemz said...

wow, very lovely!

Luke Prater said...

Like the metaphor of the boat and water, very effective

Kind regards

Luke x

Esther Joy said...

You are so gifted and so eloquently express what you are feeling!

criticalcrass said...

this was nice. thanks for sharing. :]

and thanks, too, for reading picky and leaving it some love.

The Blue Sky said...

amazing poetry.

Sasha Spears said...

love this.

kez said...

beautiful and could only be written by a parent ( I think ) thank you for sharing this lovely piece x