I dream of being seen
As the ever-green
As I stand at the edge of your yard
With my best regard.
That way,
I'll stay
alive, with no rest
As the light of the sun dies in the west.
I'd never turn brown
even if you forget about watering me
while being out of town...
*****
This is an entry 4 Magpie Tale hosted by willow at:
http://magpietales.blogspot.com/2010/08/mag-26.html
And an entry for Flash Friday 55 hosted by G-man at:
http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/
Happy Reading!
Happy Creative Writing!
64 comments:
very clever, Jingle...To live life as an evergreen :)
Very well done my friend. I could never write like that. Excellent. Have a great Friday :)
Ha! I wish my plants would stay green when I forget to water them...
so clever Ji
hope all is well
love from the Moon
That was a lovely read..
Just like a young seed
It made me feel light
Like a butterfly bright! :)
Thank you so much for this beautiful poem, Ji... A green and fresh Magpie!! :)
Very cute. I wish my plants would stay alive when I forget to wtaer them.
that was wonderful!
Nice rhyming, Jingle!
Jingle Belle....
You are such a positive, creative talent.
Thank you for always playing with so much passion.
You Rock Baby...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
I like this, well done.
Jingle, I hope your evergreens remain forever lovely. One of mine is acting up - trying to turn brown, but I think I've convinced him it's not a good color :)
Nice.
It has a lyrical sound to it.
A lovely poem and a gentle thought. 'Even if you forget to water me'....that's true love.
oh to be evergreen! alas-I need water! Nice Magpie!
Nice one Jingle. Me too I wish my plants would stay evergreen..
...i wish i had more plants like this jingle...
think it's also an interesting way to look at life - could be interpreted as not being too dependent on the watering of others but stay green even if the conditions are not too good
clever one!
Very good Jingle I do so admire people who can do 55 words and drabbles. can't seem to get the art of those.
Yvonne.
High five for the plants! If you want to hear (yes hear!) or read my Friday 55 Flash fiction then click here. Hope you have a good weekend!
Clever...wish my plants felt the same way!
Cleverly written! Wonderful magpie, Jingle! Have a great Friday!
-Weasel
At the edge of the yard, is very good!
Genius.
I liked:
As the light of the sun dies in the west.
I'd never turn brown
This is beautiful. Love the fact that you took care of two birds with one poem. :)
PG
Thats an amazing way to depict feelings of a plant, loved the piece. Keep writing!
ah, not unlike my widows. :)
what a great metaphor you have here!
Very creative piece Jingle
Happy friday!
Pamela
Love, soft as an easy chair.
Love, fresh as the morning air.
ever.... ever..... greeeen
(You know that Barbara Streisand song?)
xoxo
BEAUTIFUL!!
if not for the trees
yous and mes
would not be
so let's cheer for the trees!!!!
xoxo
Wouldst that we should all be forever green... but we cannot... for, as Robert Frost pointed out:
"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay"
So must we go, too.
Jannie:
You know that Barbara Streisand song?
I don't know, Dear Jannie!
This is written by me and 100% by me,
I did not look at anything when I write it...I simply want to look at things from the plants' perspective and include the watering can, in 55 words...
Thanks for the sweet comment.
Thanks, everyone for the encouragement.
That's cool, combining two challenges/prompts in one poem. Counting words and keeping track of rhyme . . very well crafted.
this made me laugh cause I'm sure my plants cringe knowing I'm the one in charge of them.
Very clever! I am always forgetting to water the plants. Maybe I need an evergreen. lol
Very clever!
I really, really like this, Ji! Nicely done and wonderful sentiment. Thank you!
Out here in the blogospher - just visiting and catching up. Nice to have your cheery posts to read on a dreary Friday.
:-)
I enjoyed your Magpie ... my back yard is full of evergreens and my front is landscaped with high desert plantings .... love the carefree life of my yard.
Clever, beautifully crafted and quite, quite, charming, Jingle. A wonderful Magpie and a marvellous 55 indeed :D
That was a lovely read.
speechless.. this is truest magpie I've read this day :)
This is so pretty! And very clever too. I wish I could rhyme.
So nice to meet you. You have a lovely blog.
I've always admired the majesty of a good evergreen! Very nice.
Thank you for your kind words.
brilliant, simply brilliant xxx
I like your style! :-)
Oh for someone who sees us so! But who could forget to water you, standing at tne edge of her yard with your best regard? Don't stay, get out while you can.
Evergreen is a very fine thing!
What a wonderful verse!
jingle, what an excellent magpie AND your 55, combined!! i loved your work and found myself giggling at the end, realizing it was going to thrive with or without the help :)
happy day, my friend!
I'm sure if my plants and flowers could talk I would hear as I approached them: "oh oh here comes the hang woman" Love flowers so much but do not have a green thumb at all......:-) Hugs
Hey thanks for the follow. I am going to add a link on my list. You have a great site.
cute, clever, fun. Thanks!
Well- another week gone past- glad it is done!
Thanks for sharing as always...love the rhythm and structured rhyme.
'Being seen' and dreams do get mixed !
I need to play with the being seen-
Lovely poem with wonderful imagery and thoughts.
Imagine staying young and green forever..good for you!!
Heehehee, so cute=0)
Happy Saturday,
xoxo,
Carol
there's something fierce and fun about the spirit of this. it's pretty cool that you can find both in the same place.
Wow Jingle, that is cool and clever. You got too birds with one stone. Love this one!
I enjoyed this one. Nice Magpie :)
Enjoy the metaphor of striving to be green and vibrant.
Nice little piece. I certainly don't have 'evergreen' fingers!
short and sweet!
Aren't we lucky that a sturdy evergreen doesn't need our attention to flourish? Quite a nice poem, and really like the sentiment on the end.
Elizabeth
Great Magpie Jingle... clever and well done...bkm
jingle,
evergreen; cool poem.
rel
Lovely! Green is good.
hi there. thanks for stopping by, and for your comments.
i like your blog
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