Monday, May 10, 2010

Magpie Tale-I Live In A Haunted House



This is a post for Magpie Tale hosted by Willow at:
http://magpietales.blogspot.com/2010/05/mag-13.html
I wrote a poem this time, it is a fiction trying to have fun looking at the prompt.
I value your input and wishing you all A Happy Monday!

*****

I live in a haunted house
With my sickly spouse.
There is a scary spell
Which I must tell.
I see an eyeball in the air,
When I try to touch it,
It is not there.
I sink myself into a chair,
Feeling the sense of despair.
I stare
At the mischievous air
Wondering about where
Is that eyeball?
I search at the hall,
Nothing solid is there at all.
I look for it in the kitchen,
what I find is three piece of grilled chicken.
I throw myself in my bed,
shaking my head,
Not sure about what is coming ahead.
Body and soul, I am half dead.
I dwell with an aching heart,
With my inner world falling part.
That creepy eye is out there
Somewhere,
Making its constant stare.
In my dream,
I scream!
The eyeball becomes a shadow
Outside my window.
It hangs near the oak tree
While I try to make my day.
To the Divine, I pray,
Please take the spell away!

58 comments:

gregj said...

Very good, Jingle.
A little mixture of tenses though:

"when I try to touch it,
It [was] not there.

I [searched] in the hall
nothing solid is there

I [looked[ for it in the kitchen,
what I [found is].....

I just can't help it sometimes. I should have been an editor or teacher.
Just tell me to MYOB if you want. I won't be offended.
I hope I don't offend you.
Greg

gregj said...

thank you for your comments on my blog. I always appreciate them.

Caty said...

wow that was wickedly fun! Loved it :)

Jingle said...

Thanks for the correction,
English is not my first language,
I did thought about these,
No offense at all.
I Welcome any comments.

Jen said...

Learning a new language is not easy. I think you are doing an amazing job, Jingle. Keep up the good work!

Barry said...

Fun and spooky as the same time. I really enjoyed it.

Jingle said...

Jen,
Thanks a bunch!
;)

Angelia Sims said...

Oh man! Nothing creepier than feeling watched. Ahhh!

Loved it. Great rhyming tale!

island of peace said...

simply fantastic. jingle, its magical. too good.

Thom said...

I don't like when I get the feeling I'm being watched...It's spooky. Well done and written my friend :)

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Well done , Jingle...
You did well in telling such a story...
Nice that you are trying something new...
Bravo!
hugs
shakira

william said...

ooo big brother is watchin u or is it big sister lol, well done dear, great post xx

Barbara said...

Scary fun, Jingle! Haunted houses always make you think someone is watching you! (Someone probably is!)

Rajlakshmi said...

that actually sounds creepy... now I am scared that an eyeball would be watching me :P well written :)

suzicate said...

Wow, good and creepy and funny, too.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Awesome! I wish I was that talented to write poems, I've tried but they don't always sound so eloquent.

That eye would give me the creepies :).

I'm sorry a while back you asked what my blog was here is my main one, I sadly don't get to the cupcake one that much any more.

http://mom2mycrazy2.blogspot.com

Ronda Laveen said...

Now that is one scary spell...ick!

sheri... said...

jingle, i'm right there with you, screaming and hiding!! what a wonderful magpie you've told today :)

Susie said...

You are very talented!

THE BEATY said...

nice job branching out weirder writing topics like mine

joanny said...

A GREAT magpie poem ---- It has that magical unnerving creepy scary feel to it -- wonderful just wonderful.

Joanny

Jannie Funster said...

whoooosh. I just broke the evil eye spell!! You should start feeling immediately lighter and happier when you read this comment.

I really like the chicken / kitchen rhyme.

Happy belated Mothers' day!!

xoxo

Jingle said...

Oh, My,
Jannie, your eye is very beautiful.
thank you for being the goodness saving me.
you rock, girl!
xoxo

Deanna said...

You are very talented. Poems are not easy to write. Fun.

willow said...

Fun rhyming pattern, Jingle. Hey, the blue eye is supposed to ward off the spells!

Jingle said...

Nice to see you, Dear Willow!
Yes, Blue eye is cool!

Gandhali said...

whoa i love that photo

Dom* said...

I seen it as it seen me
I look once again as I do see
The eye of the Universe is well Aware
I look again and it gives back a stare
But for me it is outside and cannot go further than that
I leave it alone as that is where its at

enjoy Jingle and Happy Thursday to you(+)

soulbro*:)

Dom* said...

Whoops meant to say Happy Tuesday as Thursday is just as good too..
soulbro*:)

Maha said...

it was strange, the good kinda strange, unique in its own way. really, I enjoyed it.

Jingle said...

No Problem, Dom*.

nice To see you and hear your kind remarks, Maha!

Katherine said...

There is nothing worse than someone eye-balling you...especially in the death of night!
Great Magpie Jingle!

gregj said...

You do wonderfully well in English; better than a lot of native speakers. Good for you.

christopher said...

Your poetry was a good choice to capture the feeling of being haunted.

She Writes said...

Fun take on a fun theme!

TALON said...

I love how a photograph gives birth to such creativity! I would definitely NOT want to have a spell like that to deal with!

croleyc69 said...

I love your poems so Awesome !!
Caroline

Mr. Stupid said...

That was spooky, but fun! I would never want to get stared at that way.
Lovely poem. Toodles!:)

Tracy said...

That was cool, very visual!!

Hootin' Anni said...

Excellent writing. So very impressive.

Thanks for stopping by today and leaving a happy anniversary wish for the two of us. That melted my heart.

Lyn said...

Very clever..really casts a spell, and funny too..it's got everything!!

Vintage Obsession said...

oh!!! nice Jingle , how well can you write women :)impressive :)

JStar said...

I could see the images and feel the pain locked deep within...

Janice said...

I am now officially a fan! Thanks for your fun comments on my blog. I'll be checking in with you regularly.

lakeviewer said...

Jingle, thanks for the visit! Love how you weave the haunting eye in your narrative poem.

Hilary said...

Poetry can't be easy in a second language. I think you did a fine job. Scary stuff!

Kmama said...

Love that.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting yesterday! I love comments!

Readers Dais said...

hi jingle that was a good one, im following u but not getting any updates of ur posts

Jingle said...

Thank you, everyone for the encouraging comments!
Happy Magpie Tale Readings!
Happy Tuesday!
You Deserve Happiness!

Alexis said...

I loved it! lt gave me goosebumps! Very fun and scary!

Cielo Azul Jewelry said...

I like it, but now I'm going to be looking for that eyeball all over the place=0)

Have a great day,
xoxo,
Carol

Tumblewords: said...

Laughing ~ there's nothing worse than a loose eyeball on the prowl. Good luck!

Suz said...

love a haunted house
poem.....
I wish Gregj would care enough to edit me....lucky you!
fun patterns

Bryan J. Bailey said...

I think we need a "part 2" to this story.... the suspense is killing me

-bryan

kkrige said...

The eyeball seems to be bringing out the creepy in everyone. I like this Ji. Good work

little hat said...

Nice one Jingle. Those rhyming lines almost broke a record for consequetiveness (is that a word?)

Helen said...

Very nice Magpie .... kept me on edge a bit, but an enjoyable place to be.

Sezaaay said...

I love this. It was very tense and spooky! Well done :)