Friday, July 2, 2010

55-Someone Is Following Her!

On a cold and dark evening, she pushes her baby stroller, walking home.

Someone is following her.

Her heart races, daring not to look back.

Arriving at the stairway, she stops, hurrying to take her baby.

Just as she is about to scream, she hears a male's voice:

"I know you're scared, I'm your neighbor."


*****
Write a story in 55 words. Give it a try and notify G-man at:
http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/

27 comments:

Maha said...

It's always so creepy, this feeling you get when you think you are watched.
Nice 55!

Thom said...

Excellent. He should have said something earlier. :) Well done. Have a great weekend :)

Cinner said...

Very nice, but I agree he should have said something earlier. what a horrible feeling. have a great weekend. take care.

Kimberly said...

I am giving you a standing ovation! Wonderful!!!!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Excellent!!! Love a surprise ending!!! Whew!!! So relieved it turned out happy, too! Hello, dear Jingle...you have visited me several times now...I'm beginning to feel like we are friends ;-)) I'm not going to be commenting much for a few weeks here in July...will be busy with summer holidays, etc. But I'd like to follow you. I hope you don't mind...and when I'm back to commenting again, you will hear from me...I promise! ~Janine XO

TALON said...

I am so glad it turned out okay! I was scared reading! Awesome 55, Jingle.

G-Man said...

Jingle ....
Superb!....."I hope you don't dislike it"
GREAT 55
This was intense and very good. In my opinion, one of your best.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End....G

gayle said...

So scary!!

croleyc69 said...

Simply wonderful once again !!

Caroline

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Not a nice feeling being watched, not to be reccomended.

Yvonne.

joanny said...

Nerves on edge waiting for what will come next Nice ...

Joanny

you might want to change the word sacred to read as scared.

Have good week end.

Mr. Stupid said...

Wow. This was quick and scary. I am just glad it turned out to be the neighbor. Though, he could have said that before.

Shrinky said...

Hey, some neighbours can be VERY scary (grin)! Nice 55.

william said...

a very scary 55 always be careful :)

island of peace said...

good one. :)

Bachelor said...

You had me going there! Great short composition! Happy 4th to you as well!
:) The Bach

hope said...

Nice to know good neighbors still exist...ones smart enough to know when they've scared you.

Just Be Real said...

Well done Jingle. Great 55. Blessings.

Regina said...

Great one Jingle.
Happy weekend.

Sam Liu said...

You suffuse such tension and a feeling we've all had into only 55 words, and it works marvellously, Jingle :D

Ed Pilolla said...

meeting our brothers and sisters in the dark can be a wake up call for sure. nicely done.

Caty said...

creepy 55! nicely done :)

Dom* said...

A dark shadow emanates, what could this be?
I keep moving forward as I do not turn to see
I race along more rapidly as fast as I can
I cannot move faster my horror won't make me stand
I take more of a leaping stride in pace
I Now turn around, OH YES I know that face....

enjoy Jingle and Happy Saturday to ya(+)
soulbro*:)

THE BEATY said...

you did a great job creating tension and realeasing it

Amy said...

great writing that is a pretty wild post with fear.. Have a great weekend..

Okie said...

Great post. Love the intensity and that the ending leaves it ambiguous as to whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that it's just her neighbor.

Gayle said...

I agree with Okie. Waiting for the next chapter to see if the neighbor is good or evil!