Bluebell Books Short Story Slam Week 11
Time crawls like mosquitoes in our ears,
Darkness hits without minding our fears:
The unknown variable,
Invisible and miserable,
makes life controversial:
A dead woman keeps dancing in her feet,
Witches plot a naked parade,
Under the force of a spade,
Bubbling thoughts start to fade,
As trees lift their arms to comb their hair,
Strangers are approaching you from nowhere.
“Hoot”, “hoot”,
is what owls are calling,
“Psst”, “Psst”,
is what rain is talking,
“Boo”, “Boo”,
Here comes the unknown,
“Sss”, “Sss”,
A vampire starts to blow bloody kisses at you.
52 comments:
Very nicely done. Quite dark!
Very nice! A great way to get people into a Halloween mood.
What a wonderful piece. "Loved" the first line! :-)
Excellently written and most enjoyable to read.
Yvonne.
Very interesting post.
Sounds like you are ready for Halloween.
Wow! Your words made me feel like I was right there!
I think I would be ready to run from the kisses.
I LOVE this piece! The mosquito is used so expressively!!
Very nice! I was surprised by the vampire at the end.
Whoa. Very cool. I love the dead women dancing in shoes, the combing hair, the vamps!
Good one! Just in time for Halloween too, lol.
Preparing for Halloween, huh?
Wow! Love it! Thanks for stopping by.
intense n dark..
well composed :)
i wouldn't want a mosquito in my ear
Buzz...buzz...buzz....I love your poem it IS Xcellent!
Love the image of trees combing their hair!
Lots of good imagery here--I like the line about the trees reaching up to comb their hair.
Delightfully creepy.....leading up, in careful measure, to that last line!
Bit scary, very well done :)
Quite creative; impressive...
I like the part about the bloody kisses being blown. It's innovative. xoXox Boo!
Very nice, and love the twisted ending!
Nice job, perfect for the time of year.
Great post and blog!
And thanks too for stopping by.
Have a great weekend & look forward to *seeing* you again next time,
XOXO LOLA:)
Well I'm certainly ready for Halloween now!
Definitely sets a macabre mood!
=)
Creepy fun! Just in time for Halloween, too! Have a beautiful day and thanks so much for your visit!
Coralie
Makes me think of Halloween. Creepy. LOl Great post! I'm going to read that to the kids on Halloween! :) Thanks for stopping by.
Quite a depressing atmosphere ... deliciously dark ... :-)
http://writer-in-transit.co.za/bubble-bravado/
I love your closing the vampire starts to blow bloody kisses at me this is excellent and so dark for Halloween
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/29/bubbling-potion-of-love/
Getting a jump on the Halloween rush, are we? Nice one!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/bubbles-and-lies/
Ominous! Yet quite appealing. Me loves it! :)
woot woot to your awesome talent! wonderful how all those thoughts came together :)
That first line grabbed me and made me cringe - what a super opening!! I loved the dead lady's feet and every other creepy thing about this. Great Halloween starter.
Very intriguing read..!
Thanks for visiting my blog. :)
scary stuff well written ....thank you x
Delightfully macabre!
Its the unknown, the change in life which makes it interesting. Otherwise, everything would be so monotonous:)
Excellent, well done :)
Eek-creepy!
Oooh...Dark and Creepy.
And Xcellent job of making me shiver!
Thanks for a neat link! Really loved seeing your mad writing skills here.
A+
scary...indeed
What great imagery. Well done. laurie @ Battling My Inner Critic
I have nominated you for the Versatile Bloggers Award. Your blog site is wonderful and I believe that you deserve this award. Please claim your award and follow the three requirements for this award. It is my honor to nominate you for this award. Thank you.
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/04/versatile-blogger-award/
loved the interaction in this poem..
something to share with you :
http://mypoetrywriting.blogspot.com/2011/10/versatile-blogger-award.html
creepy. i love it:)
several lines i adore: naked witches, bloody kisses.
I love your word choices! Wonderful post!
Oooo, nice one! I love the imagery :-)
I loved this! The imagery was awesomely vivid. I could see all this happening as I walked along on a dark, but moonlit Autumn night. It was so much fun to read. Blessings!
http://elizena-lovingmycreator.blogspot.com/
Nice rhyming...and a great thought...a bit scary but having a deep inner meaning...liked it...:)
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