Monday, October 3, 2011

He Took My Soul (104 words)




He took my soul
and hide it in a place
I cannot go.
.
He rode a horse
with masked face,
The Silver sword shows the force.
.
He traveled all night,
His eyes slit of light,
what fearsome sight.
.
He called me twice,
Too bad I could not recognize his voice,
so I hand him up with no other choice.
.
He visited me with no warning at all,
He took my soul
while I was on the way to the shopping mall.
.
I tried to call 911 for help,
But I keep hearing a voice,
"The number you have dialed
is no longer in service."

16 comments:

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh wow... that's almost a double whammy! It seems he took it all!
Great use of the prompts!

pamanner said...

Whoa, what a thief!
http://pamanner.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/source/

Nonna Beach said...

Excellent job ! I am envious of your poetic talent, nicely presented with an interesting set of symbolic comparisons.

BTW, thanks for visiting my blog and your nice comment on my SC !

roughwaterjohn said...

That was a great read, thanks!

cj Schlottman said...

Perfect! You had me hooked with "He took my soul and hid it in a place I cannot go.." Then you connected it to "He took my soulwhile I was on the way to the shopping mall.."

And the twist at the end is, well, just right.

Namaste..........cj

Thanks for your comment on my entry.

Viki said...

Wow, this was amazing. Such a great job.

ds said...

I had to laugh at "he took my soul/while I was on the way to the shopping mall."
But it is chilling in its way. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

This is so poetic and so profound. Wonderful job!
xoRobyn

Kalahari blues said...

I enjoyed the rhyme and felt the classic blended in well with modern"911" reference! thanks also for reading my work !

Ann LeFlore said...

so sad in the end to call 911 and get a recording the number is no longer in service
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/03/memories-and-photographs-of-you/#comment-1370

Sue said...

Interesting piece. Well done.

=)

Classic NYer said...

ouch!

and wow!

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Love the take on the prompt!

excellent....

Riet said...

I loved reading this.Thak you

Andy said...

Hello.
Some vivid images here.
Very nicely done, as usual!

Thanks for sharing.

Yesterday With You

Brian Miller said...

smiles...the mall line got me too...with a chuckle to break the tension...nicely spun...