Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Alphabe-Thursday /Short Story Slam in 55 Words.



He's gone, along with the warship, to carry out his duty in Navy in a troubled land.

Unspeakable grief unfolds, flipping its wings like startled bats.

She stands there, not being aware of upcoming affair.

After a year, he brings home a baby whose mother is not her.

Waves of the sea shiver!

Life's unfair!


*****




57 comments:

mindsinger said...

Good use of the prompt. So sad.

Marbles in My Pocket said...

A tragic story, but well told.

Annesphamily said...

A beautifully tragic story told so wonderfully. Thank you Anne

Vintagesouthernlife said...

Beautifully written, sad, sad story!

Judie said...

This is a sad story, but it does happen. You told it so well!!

taylorsoutback said...

Well done though so poignant. At first I identified with the farewell having sent my husband off to Vietnam on 2 tours years ago. But our story ended well both times.

Indie said...

Beautifully written.

Indie

♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ said...

Tragic but truthful, I've seen it happen

Caroline said...

So beautiful , wrote so well.

patcegan said...

Isn't it interesting that so much can be packed into so few words? "Life is not fair." Well, there you have it. But what is fair? How can we ever be sure? Life is a series of lessons, each rich with the opportunity to grow. Your piece gives us much to think about. Good job! hugs, pat

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Sad write, but it amazes me how one can write a short story in 55 words. well done.

Yvonne.

Gattina said...

sad story in a few words.

Jyoti Mishra said...

poignant but a nice read !!!

seasideauthor said...

Now that is a surprise ending! Her sadness reflects through your words.
Thanks for your visit. By the way your sight is also visually easy on the eyes.

pure2core said...

heart get burdened up reading the end...God always gives a different twist to every story...

Sue said...

Lovely and sad.

=)

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Although there may be many possible parts of this story that indicate sorrow...there is also a possible "happily ever after" for the Navy man and his wife and this blessed bundle of joy. I love *happily ever afters* :o) ...so, I choose to think that the husband went to war...and rescued this little baby from being an orphan...to be brought home to become a part of his and his wife's life.

Blessings & Aloha!
Thank you for visiting :o) & come back any time.

thingy said...

Tragic and I'm assuming this happened many times during war. Sad.

G-Man said...

Cello Strings...
Thank You so much for your sad entry this week.
Usually I post my 55 and start the prompt at 8:00 Thursday night EST.
Thank You for visiting .
Most excellent 55 My Friend
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

MISH said...

A reflection of reality ... sad but true ! Life is never fair - everybody experiences this in one way or another , at some point in life .
Well done .

MISH said...

A reflection of reality ... sad but true ! Life is never fair - everybody experiences this in one way or another , at some point in life .
Well done .

Lu Ann said...

Auch! It was so short but so well written that it kinda shocked me! Loved the feeling it caused me, thanks for sharing :)

TALON said...

Sadly, this story has played out so many times...definitely a case of truth in fiction.

Alice Audrey said...

Wow, what a well done short story. Only you left out the part where she strangles him.

BornStoryteller said...

Well done, for a scurvy lad
who does not treat her well
no no... this is sad...

Stu
http://wp.me/p1mecg-dV

Cad said...

Can't imagine a baby stowaway though...Maybe just a memory?

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

Oh my... a short sordid sad tale.
Dana

Olivia said...

indeed......

A sad one told beautifully!!
hugs xo

Monkey Man said...

These double dips on themes lead to some very good stories.

The Cello Strings said...

Everyone says that it is a sad story.

yet, it is sad indeed,

but, what if the child is a victim's baby her hubby adopted from the war,

which is a good thing to think about, it has a positive impact on her husband,

it is sad that the child is an orphan on that case,


agree?

Helena White said...

Heartfelt piece ~

Ʈɦąƞƙ Ƴơư
Ƒơɼ ƚąƙιƞǵ ƚɦє ƚιmє ƚơ √ɩʂɩƫ ❤

♥ ஆεlεɳa

ds said...

So sad. Very well told. Thank you.

Lord Emmanuel said...

This is so sad, you know. But situations like this occurs. I pity the victims though.

Cheers!

JennieB said...

Yes, life is unfair. Nicely done.

Visiting from alphabe-thursday.

Raw Thoughts And Feelings said...

Wonderful story in 55 words, and complete with a vivid picture in my mind.

kaykuala said...

Life with all its unexpected happenings. Great writing!

bendedspoon said...

there is always an unexpected news for each life turn. great write on someone else's truth.

Rosie@travel-i-tales said...

A shocking development! Aha, we all jumped to the conclusion that the baby is his. Clever to leave it ambiguous at the end.
Rosie

Bethe77 said...

Such saddness and truth are held in this story.
Blessings

Birgit said...

Touching!

Greetings from Germany,
Birgit

PS: See my T post here! :)

kweschn said...

Funny that I used the same phrase that you used as my title. Awesome entry. Enjoyed it! :)

Here is my offering: http://kweschn.wordpress.com/2011/09/03/there-she-stands/

Akelamalu said...

Sad story fabulously told in only 55 words!

Daydreamertoo said...

My mother used to tell me you could never trust a sailor. I asked why and she'd reply, "because they usually have a girl waiting in every port."
Who knows, this reminded me of that though.
Awwww Sad for the girl waiting.

Jannie Funster said...

I wonder how the other mother let the baby go? Must've broke her heart.

An AWESOME 55 that will linger in my mind.

Rek said...

Beautiful story and with some many possible endings...another question :will she accept the baby whatever be its origins?

Elizabeth said...

Stark, cold, and heartbreaking, but beautiful because it's so simply told. :)

Elizabeth

Linda said...

Wow, that is a slam. Great 55.

Doctor FTSE said...

A truly sad tale of infidelity and betrayal, and well told, too. Thank you.

Chim's World of Literature said...

A tragic story of love and betrayal. Something that happens so oftenly in life.

Jenny said...

'Waves of the sea shiver'

Oh, what a beautiful line. Such a tragic tale poignantly and beautiful told.

This was absolutely terrific writing.

Thanks for sharing it.

A+

Ann LeFlore said...

Sad and tragic but very well told.

http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/05/the-milky-seas/

Lydia said...

Seems to be an age-old story, but never told quite in this way. Lovely and the image makes it all the more haunting.

abthomas said...

There is a certain beauty in its dourness, enjoyed it very much!

Serena Shay said...

Ouch...RL can prove quite painful at times! Nice job!

Shauna said...

wow. so much is conveyed in a very
short story. love this tale.

e.a.s. demers said...

Sad that life can be so unfair...

Esther Joy said...

Wow! Talk about a tug on the emotions!