Look at me,
Am I real?
Where am I?
Why shall you stop by?
.
Come join me,
A Big deal,
No need to be shy,
since we must be reminded our freedom pie.
.
The air is screaming with death,
Please wheel me through this place,
Chair by chair,
until my rebirth.
64 comments:
Wow- I love the ending.
Enjoyed much.
I didn't see that end coming. Cool.
I like the splash of hope you added at the end there. Great job!
very nice.. Thanks for stopping by... Jingle?
Beautiful poem..cool
Excellent last line.
surreal and more surreal as it goes.
The serching of who one is? Im not sure we every fully do....or do we?
Blessings
intriguing write... i like it ~
Yup! That last line delivered indeed!
Hello.
I wasn't expecting that ending.
Very well done!
Thanks for sharing.
Imaginary Dreams
Great work....love the ending!
I had to read this a few times actually... and yeah the ending was surprising. Nicely done. :-)
Something both eerie and alluring.
Larry
Nice write!
Wow. your last stanza packed a punch. Great interpretation of the prompt.
good ending
Intense ending. Very interesting. K.
When I read from a familiar writer, I know. Good to read from you again.
And oh, wonderful thought. The muse was very imaginative here.
Cheers!
When the present questions are unanswered hope springs eternal. I enjoyed the questions and the dash of hope at the end.
Nice one!
Full of vivid imagery. Wheel me chair by chair.
Great write!
Very powerful ending, great read.
The Lonely Recluse.
This share about famous poetry is really insightful... I adore poetry.. This other poetry blog i frequent a lot is called myownverse ...
The last stanza is chilling...could stand on its own, but works well as a whole, too.
I've been wondering about what to write for this particular prompt for a while, and I've had a bit of a tough time till now... you, however, made it seem so simple :) Beautifully written...
Cheers,
Arnab Majumdar
ScribbleFest.com
the ending was a surprise
I agree with other comments that the ending really takes it to another level.
surreal and great write ...thank you x
The ending is perfect, totally unexpected.
nice ending on this one...ji
Very enjoyable. Made me think!
William
Indeed, the ending is a wow. Terrific.
I have to add my agreement with the others on the ending, wow! Great job. Blessings, Terri
Intriguing piece - well played!
that last stanza... wow. gripped me by the throat. powerful piece.
since we must be reminded..of freedom..and of life...nice ending also
beautifully blended with the picture. :)
A poem that transports to a halfway place between worlds and lives. Great take on this intriguing Magpie.
Love the way the first verse prepares the way for the last. There is a real sense of conclusion.
This is nice and really different:)
Beautiful write hon!
So beautiful...the ending a total surprise
Surreal and a little disturbing. I like it! :)
i loved the deep emotions u embedded in this poem..wished it was a little longer..u left me asking for more!
haunting, lovely pic as well :) thanks for the visit!
the last stanza is very nice
A chilly ending
what i was looking at is your choice of words you know and i find this attractive that simplicity can convey complexities. :)
Chilling yet in that chill of the fog rebirth! I love how you sensed the feelings behind the image!
Excellent -- and the ending!
i'd say you managed to capture quite well the essence of the image - very well done!
This is quite an evocative piece.
Grand effort.
questioning self and existence!
I like the magpie's tale.
Freedom pie as you name it. Lovely!
Wow. "freedom pie" and such a brilliant ending. Thank you.
Killer last stanza. Works beautifully; so unexpected. Great job!
lovely.mind-catching. sarala [prayaga]
I enjoyed it... Nice!
JJRod'z
Nice Blog Your's Visit Also India Tour Travel,India Travel Tour
Lovely poem! I especially enjoyed the last four lines; beautiful work and a lovely blog. Thank you kindly for stopping by.... au revoir!
Am I real? Where am I? Questions I've asked myself; at first feeling that I was without help or hope and then like the ending of our poem;
The air is screaming with death,
Please wheel me through this place,
Chair by chair,
until my rebirth.
I found that in spite of the pain and the end of all I thought I needed and wanted; there was only better waiting for me.
Very well done. Blessings!
http://elizena-lovingmycreator.blogspot.com/
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