In a place where the ocean is deep and wide,
Lonely soul greets the hungry tide,
Unspeakable things
scream in silence;
Broken wings
search for solace;
Deserted strings
haunt those died in violence!
This fairy
is NOT very merry,
This story
is Not that cheery,
This moment
is so very scary!
Brain-storms flood,
Thoughts stretch,
Let’s pray to God
and redo our sketch.
46 comments:
Beautiful <3
Have a wonderful weekend.
The poem is good.
The starting takes off with infecting a sense of pathos in a reader's mind. Gives a kind of warning that the things are not going to be a fairytale as you continue reading.
The middle portion attracts attention with its simple short and recurring style.
The end portion really ends well, by the way. In a sense of hope. Thats good, indeed.
Best regards Ji,
Mihir
hauntingly scary. Blessings, Joanne
Beautiful. Love the way the poem ends with prayer and the chance for a new beginning.
Hope you are having a lovely weekend, Jingle. This was sad. Seems the bad fairies run amok too often in this world.
If only we could just start again.
A new beginning...an awakening...let's redo the sketch!! Perfect for today's world where we seek solace in all around us!
this was so beautiful, like a lullaby..amazing as always Jingle
This appealed to me very much. I appreciated the open-endedness.
I really enjoyed how the words had a building of momentum feel! Just like a storm would! Great!
Fanstastic write of harsh rue!
Sometimes, on e wonders..is it too late to redo the sketch and stop these visitations ? But then what is life without hope?Lovely poem.
Fabulous job! This is one of my favorite poems you've written =)
I like the factthat in the poem you talk of it being serious yet it flows as though it is more playful. Brilliant poem.
Terrific take.
There is something poignant in this that reminds me of the losses we think about today.
Hello Ji.
Great contrast between all things doom & gloom at the beginning and then the whisper of hope at the end.
Nicely done!
Nice message to make, arrive at change!
This is clever ... draws you into the poem.
Nicely done! It kind of builds and crashes on you like a wave, tittering and sighing as it fades in the end.
That was beautiful!
I think I like this fairy. Beautiful words. Happy Potluck!
In July, I am going to where the ocean is deep and the ocean is wide. I will give you my thoughts then.
Thanks for your comments on my post!!!!
Thanks for your comment on my post. You should get into the game. You have much to offer.
Loved it...!!
jingling chains
You are such a gifted poet! Thank you for all that you contribute to our life on this planet.
Beautiful poem and picture!..Christine
Great work, very haunting but with a sense of hope at the end.
the imagery is so amazing,....!
reminds me of the song lazarus by PT,which is unspeakably beautiful....
damn awesome...!!
so very intense. :)
This is so primal..I feel it in my bones..
Terrific write, Jingle. : )
Ok... So I just got done telling someone that their post was my new favorite of the month.... But this one... Tis is breath taking and simply amazing!!!!! I love it!
Beautiful!!!!!!!
I like that one can always redo the fairy ocean story on an etch-a-sketch and make everything merry again.
xoxo
P.S I am contesting for Indiblogger-Yahoo-Dove 'what real beauty means to you' blogging contest. Can you read my post at http://t.co/2Z5RHqU and if you like it, 'LIKE' it on Facebook or 'Tweet' it or even sign up with Indiblogger to promote my post? The instructions to sign up with Indiblogger are given at the end of my post itself. Hoping to see you there! If you are on Indiblogger, you already know what to do!!
To me, not being a poet, just an interesting story with a very lovely picture to illustrate it. I'm glad you included prayer and God. Thanks, I'm sure He will appreciate that.
God bless and may you keep on writing for us for a very long time, Geoff.
I love this. You have painted a word picture of the picture. Nice!
I often wonder when poem and illustration so fit which came first. It would be hard to separate the two.
Wow! This is such a wonderful poem.
Lonely soul greets the hungry tide,
Unspeakable things
scream in silence;
Broken wings
search for solace;
Loved these lines the most....Beautiful work :)
an old piece.
hope that you enjoy it.
!!! My favorite!! This was BEAUTIFUL... I feel more in love with it as each line was read. ...and that captivation picture... wow.
My soul felt and emotion that can not be named...
~L
nice i would like to think such moments leads to prayer. good choice of an ending. However the poem it's self was very powerful.
brain storms flood... LOVE that line!
Absolutely love it! It's great how your words seem to have a faster pace with each line. Amazing and touching story...
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